i’ll take all the wins i can get (text series)

Words by Abby Esteireiro


Note: Stars indicate breaks in text message conversations














i started watching amy lee (previously known as vagabond youth) on youtube just over a year ago. i watched her video 'unmotivated and stuck' because it popped into my recommended section on youtube via the little chip google has put into my mind to read my thoughts. didn’t expect to get much out of it or any other kind of self-help mumbo jumbo, but then 10 hours later i have watched almost every single am with amy she’s posted and feeling a heap load better about life. from there, i started following a lot of sort of self aware/positive thinking/positive illustrations blah blahs accounts on social media like @sadgirlsclub, @peopleiveloved, and @werenotreallystrangers.


one of the things that has really stuck with me and comforted me was a framework involving gratitude.

self-help art/books/videos/stuff have a really bad rep, which i get because you don’t need people to tell you how to live your life. but at the same time, when i moved away from the mindset of “this is such bs” and “this is so cheesy” and tried to listen and learn, even among all the things i disagreed with, i found a lot of valuable things i did agree with! and one of the things that has really stuck with me and comforted me was a framework involving gratitude.


i can’t remember exactly where i got it from but it’s this idea of turning sadness and anger and negative energy into gratitude. i am grateful for my friends who will comfort me when i send them large paragraph of texts outlining how a terrible, insignificant thing happened to me. i am grateful for my parents who leave dinner on the table for me when i miss dinner because i’m studying at the library. i am grateful that the ttc wasn’t a total dick and i’m not late to my meeting today.


i’m just gonna keep trying to turn my losses into wins, baby.

i’ll be honest: it doesn’t work every time. but, you know, you take what you can get and i think it’s helped me become a better human. well, you can be the judge of that. i’m just gonna keep trying to turn my losses into wins, baby.


“i wanna be soft and easily impressed. i wanna appreciate all the little things that make me happy the same way i’ve dwelled on every single thing that upsets me”

-@werenotreallystrangers


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